When the Kids Aren’t With You During the Holidays

Holidays can feel especially heavy when your children aren’t with you. Even if you knew the schedule ahead of time, the quiet can still catch you off guard. Seeing traditions unfold without them, or noticing empty moments where their presence usually fills the space, can bring up sadness, loneliness, or a deep ache you didn’t expect. All of that is normal.

There’s no right or wrong way to feel during this season. What matters most is giving yourself permission to experience it honestly and finding ways to care for yourself through it.

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Acknowledge What You’re Feeling

When your kids aren’t with you, it’s okay to feel disappointed, heartbroken, or even angry. You can miss them and still support the arrangement. Those feelings can exist together. Trying to push them away often makes them linger longer.

Let yourself name what’s coming up. Write it down, talk it out with someone you trust, or simply sit with it for a moment. Allowing space for your emotions is one of the most compassionate things you can do for yourself.
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You May Also Find This Helpful > How to Talk to Your Kids About Holiday Changes
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Plan Ahead for the Harder Days

Knowing when you’ll be without your kids gives you an opportunity to plan in a way that feels supportive instead of isolating. Look at the days or times that may feel toughest and decide how you want to fill them.

This might mean scheduling something you enjoy, arranging time with friends or family, or planning a quiet day that gives you room to rest. Having even a loose plan or intention can make those days feel less overwhelming.

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Create Meaningful Traditions on Your Own Timeline

The holiday doesn’t have to fall on a specific date to matter. You can still create meaningful moments with your children before or after the actual holiday. A special breakfast, decorating together, a movie night, or a small tradition that belongs just to your time together can be just as cherished.

When you talk with your kids about this, be open and clear about what to expect. Involving them in planning something special gives them something to look forward to and reminds them that time together still matters deeply.

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Take Care of Yourself When They’re Not With You

When your kids are away, it’s important to care for yourself, too. This isn’t the time to isolate or punish yourself for feeling sad. Treat yourself gently. Do something that brings comfort or joy, whether that’s taking a walk, cooking a favorite meal, watching a movie, or spending time with people who care about you.

If friends or family invite you to join them, consider saying yes. You deserve connection, warmth, and support during the holidays just as much as anyone else.
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More Just For You > Helping Your Kids Adjust to Two Homes
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Remember You’re Not Alone

Many parents experience this same quiet during the holidays, even if it looks different on the outside. You’re not failing, and you’re not the only one navigating this. This season may feel different, but it doesn’t diminish the love you share with your children or the bond you continue to build.

Be kind to yourself. This chapter is part of a larger story, and it’s okay to take it one moment at a time. 💙

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The next newsletter will be in January. Happy Holidays everyone, see you in the New Year!